Who Will Represent Kenya on Big Brother Africa 2012?
Yet again, we get the opportunity to watch grown men and women shower and have sex: Big Nude Africa is back! Dubbed Big Brother Africa during the day. Unfortunately, Kenya hasn’t been lucky on this side. Millicent tried- or didn’t she. The world was watching her weaves. Sheila Kwamboka tried as well. But she got carried away in her busy schedule, kissing girls and boys. But she made music thereafter- video girl . No one remembers the other boys and girls that represented Kenya.
The thing is, we really haven’t had the people we want to see representing Kenya on Big Brother Africa yet. Age aside; which Kenyan would catch big brother’s eye? Who is deranged enough to handle it in there? Who would be your best bet on Big Brother Africa? These are our best bets of ten.
Miguna Miguna
Big Brother Africa might be a little too small for this man’s ego and high heels, but if he packed only 17 bags of ego, and maybe 6 suitcases of heels, he might impress Big brother. We know Miguna Miguna, the man who advises you to be proud of being proud. Don’t think of him in the shower, or who he is going to sleep with-that might blind you. Think of the plan he will come up with to oust Big Brother. Miguna Miguna also makes for excellent entertainment!
Media Madness (@Mediamk)
He / she calls himself/ herself the lesbian who tweets for the website MM. If you do not know MM, he/she is Kenya’s well known gossip girl. He/she gossips a lot, especially about the media. We would love to see him behind the screen. Is it a boy or a girl? Many a twitterati would love to watch him eat from where he poops. As a housemate? He/she would be scandalous! He/she would also be the ultimate snitch! Big Brother loves snitches!
Cess Mutungi
When it comes to betting who will bring the house down in Big Brother, Cess Mutungi has always been a win. The Chairman of the City Taytay Committee as she likes to call herself doesn’t give a hoot about a hoot! We think she would make for excellent entertainment, and with all her rowdiness, she might have all the boys crawling into her room at night. Now that would be fun to watch!
Smitta
When he is not drinking Vodka, which happens rarely, he likes to go by the name Tony Mochama. He is excellent when he is Tony. But we don’t want Tony; we want Smitta for Big Brother Africa. Many of you might not agree with this, but Smitta needs to be put in an enclosed house for many days- think a human zoo, with nothing to do all day but Vodka and other kids. He might then teach them the oski-iski lingua franca, and they might like it. Exporting a rare language is good for the economy.
Holy Dave
We have a feeling that Big Brother Africa would be a good test for Holy Dave. With all the naked women, the sex, the beer- how long can he last? The house needs someone to tell the girls to put their nipples back into the brassiere, and the boys to go back to the bedroom and put on some shirt and pants. It would be tempting though. But even Jesus was tempted by the devil. In addition, some godliness to Big Brother’s house might not be such a bad idea. Maybe to win this thing, we need Jesus after all. No sarcasm there! No blasphemy whatsoever as well.
Larry Madowo
Larry Madowo is an expert. Big Brother’s house needs a Kenyan expert. Larry Madowo is a business reporter with NTV. He is also an individual that is known to have more than one opinion. As expected, he is not a darling of many. Here is why Larry should be in that house- all other Kenyan housemates have always been in the background. Larry would never fit in the background! Never! He would have an opinion for each and every housemate that needs to borrow one. Big brother would keep him around for long. Eventually, he would win, or be remembered. Being remembered is good enough.
Biko Adema
He is cute, too cute a boy and Big Brother likes that. If all of the kids mentioned in this list went for an audition, he’d probably win. He looks good, and he plays rugby! What more does Big Nude Africa need? Everyone will be crying for a piece of that.
Sonko
Before you say anything, Sonko is actually a very hip boy. Doesn’t he remind you of a music video? This is why Sonko would be perfect for Big Brother, even though he will leave our country Kenya forever scarred in the face of the world- Sonko is the real bad boy. It is hard to believe that I just typed that. Think of how many walls need punching in Big Brother’s house, how many tasks require juvenile delinquency! He would ace them all! There is also a feeling that Sonko would attempt to escape by jumping over the gate. He has done it before.
Esther Murugi
It is Big Nude Africa. Honourable Esther Murugi likes to threaten with stripping. Hey Big Brother, I told my teammates to do this, and when they refused, I stripped! Evict me and I will strip! Betty is the perfect fit, and together with other housemates, they would make a Big Nude Family!
Shaffie Weru
Shaffie Weru does posses the annoying traits that make people win this prize. He would be an excellent sacrificial lamb. He talks a lot. Big Brother likes talkers. He would probably be the most hated housemate, with all his pomposity. You never know, he might win the money. He needs it! We all need it.
The thing is, we really haven’t had the people we want to see representing Kenya on Big Brother Africa yet. Age aside; which Kenyan would catch big brother’s eye? Who is deranged enough to handle it in there? Who would be your best bet on Big Brother Africa? These are our best bets of ten.
Miguna Miguna
Big Brother Africa might be a little too small for this man’s ego and high heels, but if he packed only 17 bags of ego, and maybe 6 suitcases of heels, he might impress Big brother. We know Miguna Miguna, the man who advises you to be proud of being proud. Don’t think of him in the shower, or who he is going to sleep with-that might blind you. Think of the plan he will come up with to oust Big Brother. Miguna Miguna also makes for excellent entertainment!
Media Madness (@Mediamk)
He / she calls himself/ herself the lesbian who tweets for the website MM. If you do not know MM, he/she is Kenya’s well known gossip girl. He/she gossips a lot, especially about the media. We would love to see him behind the screen. Is it a boy or a girl? Many a twitterati would love to watch him eat from where he poops. As a housemate? He/she would be scandalous! He/she would also be the ultimate snitch! Big Brother loves snitches!
Cess Mutungi
When it comes to betting who will bring the house down in Big Brother, Cess Mutungi has always been a win. The Chairman of the City Taytay Committee as she likes to call herself doesn’t give a hoot about a hoot! We think she would make for excellent entertainment, and with all her rowdiness, she might have all the boys crawling into her room at night. Now that would be fun to watch!
Smitta
When he is not drinking Vodka, which happens rarely, he likes to go by the name Tony Mochama. He is excellent when he is Tony. But we don’t want Tony; we want Smitta for Big Brother Africa. Many of you might not agree with this, but Smitta needs to be put in an enclosed house for many days- think a human zoo, with nothing to do all day but Vodka and other kids. He might then teach them the oski-iski lingua franca, and they might like it. Exporting a rare language is good for the economy.
Holy Dave
We have a feeling that Big Brother Africa would be a good test for Holy Dave. With all the naked women, the sex, the beer- how long can he last? The house needs someone to tell the girls to put their nipples back into the brassiere, and the boys to go back to the bedroom and put on some shirt and pants. It would be tempting though. But even Jesus was tempted by the devil. In addition, some godliness to Big Brother’s house might not be such a bad idea. Maybe to win this thing, we need Jesus after all. No sarcasm there! No blasphemy whatsoever as well.
Larry Madowo
Larry Madowo is an expert. Big Brother’s house needs a Kenyan expert. Larry Madowo is a business reporter with NTV. He is also an individual that is known to have more than one opinion. As expected, he is not a darling of many. Here is why Larry should be in that house- all other Kenyan housemates have always been in the background. Larry would never fit in the background! Never! He would have an opinion for each and every housemate that needs to borrow one. Big brother would keep him around for long. Eventually, he would win, or be remembered. Being remembered is good enough.
Biko Adema
He is cute, too cute a boy and Big Brother likes that. If all of the kids mentioned in this list went for an audition, he’d probably win. He looks good, and he plays rugby! What more does Big Nude Africa need? Everyone will be crying for a piece of that.
Sonko
Before you say anything, Sonko is actually a very hip boy. Doesn’t he remind you of a music video? This is why Sonko would be perfect for Big Brother, even though he will leave our country Kenya forever scarred in the face of the world- Sonko is the real bad boy. It is hard to believe that I just typed that. Think of how many walls need punching in Big Brother’s house, how many tasks require juvenile delinquency! He would ace them all! There is also a feeling that Sonko would attempt to escape by jumping over the gate. He has done it before.
Esther Murugi
It is Big Nude Africa. Honourable Esther Murugi likes to threaten with stripping. Hey Big Brother, I told my teammates to do this, and when they refused, I stripped! Evict me and I will strip! Betty is the perfect fit, and together with other housemates, they would make a Big Nude Family!
Shaffie Weru
Shaffie Weru does posses the annoying traits that make people win this prize. He would be an excellent sacrificial lamb. He talks a lot. Big Brother likes talkers. He would probably be the most hated housemate, with all his pomposity. You never know, he might win the money. He needs it! We all need it.
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